can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
