wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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