Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it was like eating out sand paper
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
