I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
