I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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