saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
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he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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