would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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