hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
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Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
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I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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