Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
