She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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