I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
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i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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