Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
