Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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