We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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