She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
