You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
