I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
