Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
