One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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