i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
