The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Come on in and take your pants off
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