new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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