he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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