But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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