Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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