So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
