Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
