i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
