Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
