Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
