I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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