tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The feeling are messing with the penis
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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