It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
