im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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