I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
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No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.