He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
