And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
