Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize