as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I got inside last night via doggy door
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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