Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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