Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
