I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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