Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
