? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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