I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize