So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
