you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
