Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
