I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
