with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i believe in u and ur pee
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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