i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
