new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
