im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
