Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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