I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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