Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
