someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The air taste purple.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
