nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
