You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
