I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
