So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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