I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
