and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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