I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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