I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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