Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
